Enola
by MossyGreen
Summary: Enola, the third of Thomas Sharpe's wives, arrives at Allerdale Hall. We don't really see much of Enola in the movie but her character fascinated me and I couldn't stop thinking about her. What kind of preson was she? Warning! English is not my first language. There will be mistakes, I'm afraid. If any kind soul would point them out to me I'd be eternally grateful!
1. Chapter 1 Welcome to Allerdale Hall

Our carriage stops in front of the Allerdale mansion and all I can feel is a sudden pang of panic. So this is supposed to be my new home? A ruin atop a barren wasteland? Caro stirs, trying to get free from my embrace. Maybe I did squeeze him a bit harder than I should. I let go and he jumps on the ground. tail wagging, nose sniffing. At least the dog is happy. Poor mite, long journeys on trains, ferries and carriages do not agree with him.

Thomas, my handsome husband, offers his hand and helps me to get off the carriage. I climb down carefully or rather hesitantly. Luckily, I don't think he even notices. I'm glad I don't have to make excuses about how tired and weary I am.

There are no servants standing in line waiting to greet us outside the door. I thought it was an English custom to do so. Thomas told me before it was only his sister and he living in the house but surely he didn't mean there was no staff?

'May I?' he asks and not waiting for my answer he lifts me off the ground.

I feel like a child in his arms. A small helpless child and not a happy bride. I am carried through the threshold and at last I can see the inside of my new kingdom.

'Welcome to Allerdale Hall' says Thomas smiling and I can hear pride in his voice.

For a moment I think he must be mad. The state of the entrance hall is atrocious. I can smell rot and dust and... death. I feel like I was inside a giant creature who had died and was slowly decaying.

I cling to my husband, my arms wrapped tightly around his neck. There were English books, children's tales, in my home in Milan, Italy. Some stories told about people who travelled to distant lands spent many years there and then when they return to their country and touched the ground, aged and died. I don't want Thomas to put me on the floor, I don't want to become a part of this house, to wither and die like everything inside. Maybe if I asked him if we could go back to the town, find a place to live somewhere else. Maybe if I begged him hard enough...

Before I manage to collect my thoughts and say something possibly very foolish a dark figure appears and gives us a look that seems quite disapproving. Thomas puts me on the ground without delay. Lucille, his sister whom I met before, smiles.

'Welcome home, dear Enola. Would you care for some tea before the tour of the house?'


	2. Chapter 2 Drinking Tea

The tea is horrible and the taste is not improved even by the exquisite cups we drink it from. They have some kind of oriental motif on them as it is the fashion nowadays.

I sip the awful fluid and slowly regain my composure. My English placidity is taking reins from my Italian temper. I smile when I remember my parents, so different from each other but so compatible, like yin and yang. Always at ease, making jokes about their peculiar habits and tempers. Both were good, honest people and had a sense of humour which outraged most of polite society. My English mother and Italian father, I wonder what advice would they have given me, were they alive. I've missed them every single day since the day they died. Yet, thinking about them does not make me sad but gives me comfort and a warm feeling of love glowing inside.

'I can see you are already feeling better my dear' says Lucille putting her cup away 'I hope you were not too devastated at the first sight of the house'

'No, not at all' I answer and take another sip of tea to gain some time 'Naturally, Thomas has informed me about the state of the mansion . It does need a lot of work but it is grand indeed'

I look at Lucille's face like I used to look at my governess' after giving her an answer to a particularly vexing question. She rewards me with a smile so I think she likes what I said. Thomas relaxes a bit also.

It it true, Thomas told me everything about the house, hiding nothing. It was only me thinking he was exaggerating. He said there was only his sister and he living there, he told me about how the building was slowly being devastated because of the clay mines below, that they hardly had any money put aside. Poor boy. I can't punish him because of my own misconceptions. I give him a smile and swear to myself to be a good and supportive wife from now on. He smiles back and his eyes glow with inner warmth. Now I can recognize the man I met in Italy and fell in love with.

Lucille stands up abruptly and starts cleaning the cups from the table. I offer to help but she refuses sternly. Thomas stands up too looking from his sister to me, unsure. Finally he offers me a tour of Allerdale Hall.


	3. Chapter 3 The Tour

Thomas and I go back to the entrance hall. He shows me the problems the mansion has because of the clay mines below. The floor is rotting and so does the wood on the walls. They ooze red clay like they were shedding bloody tears. There is a lot of dirt under my shoes and the parquet is damp. My husband notices what has caught my attention and just points up. I follow his gaze and see an enormous hole in the roof I haven't noticed before. I gasp in shock.

'When you mentioned a hole in the roof' I say jokingly 'I didn't expect there would be more hole than the roof itself'

He laughs and for the first time since we arrived I feel close to him. We hold hands. If he is not offended by my sense of humour there is hope we will have a good marriage after all. Like my parents so ill-fitted at the first sight but sharing the most beautiful love one could imagine.

'When the sale of my villa is completed we will have money to make any necessary repairs' I say and feel his hand stiffen in mine.

What did I say wrong? Maybe it is not acceptable to discuss financial matters in England, even with one's own husband.

'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry' I blurted 'I shouldn't have said that'

'No need to apologize my dear' says Thomas laying his other hand on my cheek. I can feel the cold sensation of his long delicate fingers on my skin 'You have every right to use your money however you choose to. I was hoping to make some progress on my machine first but it would be mad to expect you to live in such conditions'

His eyes are so sad. I do not want him to be sad. I want him to be happy, confident and full of dreams. Like he was when I met him under the warm Italian sun.

'My love' I said 'These are not my decisions to make. You are the lord of the manor and you know how to invest. I have spoken rashly because I am not used to anybody taking care of me. Since my parents passed away I've had to make all decisions by myself. I want to be... I will be your dutiful wife like I swore I would be'

His lips brush against mine, first delicately like fluttering butterflies' wings, then he presses them harder and harder. I feel so joyful and breathless. And also dizzy but in a pleasant kind of way. Suddenly, we hear a strange noise and to my great sadness our lips come apart.

'Tis just the wind' says he looking around anxiously 'When it blows the whole house breaths. It's because the windows... I'll explain one day'

Thomas asks me to follow him upstairs. We no longer hold hands alas me but at least the wind seems to have calmed down.


	4. Chapter 4 The First Night

Caro barks and jumps up as we enter the master bedroom. I notice my luggage is already inside.

I notice the room is cleaner than the rest of the house. There is surely some dust in the heavy curtains but I do not let it bother me. The furniture is dark and old, not at all what I am accustomed to, however I express nothing but delight.

Our bed is massive and reminds me of a small chapel with all its carvings and emerald green fabric. I glance at it and feel that my cheeks are getting hot. I think I'm blushing. After we got married we took a tour around Italy and France before arriving in England. It was a tiring journey and we did not even have time for a proper wedding night. But now it is time to live as husband and wife do. I raise my hands to my face trying in vein to hide the all-telling redness of my cheeks.

'Oh, I forgot to mention' says Thomas 'I'm afraid I will have to work nights for a few days. The house needs some quick repairs and I have to see that the vats in the cellar will not overflow. There is much to be done. It is not as things should be between newlyweds but I hope Caro will keep you company during these cold nights'

He is not even looking at me. He's looking at the door. Why? Is he so eager to leave me and get out? I take a deep breath and try to remember my promise.

'Do as you deem necessary my love' I say trying to smile ' I trust you know the best. Please let me know if require my help'

'No… Thank you' he says quickly 'Have a good night dear'

My husband squeezes my hand reassuringly and leaves me alone on my first night in Allerdale Hall.


	5. Chapter 5 Breakfast

I wake up refreshed and in considerably higher spirits. My husband is not at my side but we have years and years and years to sleep together, to talk and share our little secrets in the darkness of the night. I have waited a few weeks, I can wait a few more days. Anyway, it's impossible to be sad when Caro is with me being his silly self, insisting on fetching his small red ball and trying to lick my face with his small warm tongue.

'Be good Caro and stop that nonsense' I laugh trying to avoid the dog's caresses and get to the bathroom to wash and change.

I am not a silly little girl who needs to cling to her lover like a sweet pea. I am a grown woman, mature and reasonable. Just a few months ago everyone, even my most doting cousins considered me a lost cause for love, destined for spinsterhood. I should be happy and grateful for my good fortune.

My God, what is that on my face? I gaze at my image in the mirror shocked and speechless. Blood? Am I wounded? No, it's not blood, it's thicker than blood. It's the accursed red clay. I turn on the faucet and watch how the water, red at first, becomes clearer and clearer. How could I not have noticed? I wait patiently and then wash my face thoroughly again.

When I get down, Thomas and Lucille are already sitting at the table finishing their porridge. My husband looks a bit weary but Lucille is radiant today.

'Good morning. Please join us dear sister. Tea?' she asks.

'Good morning. With pleasure, thank you Lucille' I say sitting down 'I'm sorry, I should have come earlier to help you with the food'

'Do not worry about that' says she pouring the tea.

I take a sip and find it much tastier than yesterday's. Lucille gives me some honey for my porridge and offers to refill my cup. Thomas stirs as if he wanted to say something but remains silent. An awful thought crosses my mind.

'I… I wouldn't want to drink all your good tea. Please you both have some too' I say quickly

'We have already drunk our tea' says Lucille with a benevolent smile 'Have some if you like it, we won't have any more'

'Oh, in that case, yes please'

My husband seems tense. He obviously doesn't share his sister's good mood this morning. He hasn't spoken one word to me but as long as Lucille is with us I don't want to ask him what it is about. Maybe he is just tired. Maybe it's something more. Nevertheless, this is a subject for a private conversation.

I finish my tea and decide to ask my husband to take a short walk with me outside but before I can open my mouth Lucille puts her hand on Thomas' shoulder.

'We must see to a delivery outside. Thomas has been waiting for some necessary parts for his digger' she says stroking his hair as if he was a small child 'Would it be terribly rude to ask you to wash the dishes after breakfast?'

'No, not at all' I assure her ''You cooked the breakfast so it's only fair if I clean up after it'

'I hope everything is in order with your delivery' I say to Thomas as they stand up.

He nods his head barely looking at me. I smile and wave the siblings goodbye as they leave the kitchen. I can't quite put my finger on it but something feels wrong, terribly wrong.


	6. Chapter 6 The Machine

After washing the dishes I go outside to see the famous clay digging machine for myself. I am delighted to see Thomas happy again. He is talking with some people, giving instructions and testing the new parts. Lucille is also there managing the coal distribution and keeping an eye on everything.

'Ah' says Thomas 'It won't work correctly but now at least I know the reason why'

'So all these parts were in vain' I ask.

Lucille gives me a crushing look but Thomas just laughs.

'No, no' he says 'Not from an engineer's point of view. It's always good to experiment and test new ways. Even failures and maybe I should say especially failures bring us closer to a perfect solution'

'Oh' I say and smile 'It sounds sensible'

'That's right, failures are just a part of our lives' interjects Lucille 'I thought you could start preparing the dinner while we are busy here. Peel the vegetables, boil the water. Nothing too complicated'

'Of course' I say trying to keep my countenance 'I do whatever's necessary to help'

'Thank you' says Thomas, his eyes still gleaming with excitement 'I'm sure you'll manage wonderfully'

I go back to the mansion and start peeling the vegetables left on the table while singing some Italian songs to brighten my mood. All is fine but suddenly I feel a sharp pain in my stomach. It's so sudden that I drop the knife and bend in half. I try to breath deeply and decide to drink some water. I get better after a while and can finish doing what Lucille has asked me to.


	7. Chapter 7 Being Brave

Night after night I wake up in the darkness suffering from stomach pain. It's good Thomas isn't here with me, he would be worried. I think I just have to accustom myself to English food. Or maybe it's the nerves. I had a few unpleasant conversations with my sister-in-law. I asked her over and over again but she blatantly refuses to give me keys to the house or hire any help. She dismisses my every idea. Actually, the pains get worse with each quarrel.

I write some letters to my cousins telling them how happy I am and how beautiful England is. I also put some papers concerning my finance with the letters in the envelope but before I manage to seal it Lucille appears and offers to do it for me.

'I'll seal the envelope and send it from the post office in town'

'Could I go with you?' I ask and put one hand on my stomach because I can feel some cramps again.

'You don't appear to be quite well today. You could go another time perhaps' says she, gently stroking the envelope 'Are you sure you have signed all the legal documents?'

'Yes' I say in a rather feeble voice 'And I've made requests for the rest of my assets to be monetized and send here'

'Excellent' she says 'Go and try to take a nap. I'll fetch some hot soup to keep you going until I return'

I think it means I won't see Thomas and I feel a burning sensation behind my eyes. There are tears trying to get out but I dig my nails in my hands and try to regain my composure.

'I'll do as you suggest, sister' I say and go to my lonely marital bad.

Lucille brings some soup from the kitchen but I cannot even force myself to eat it.


	8. Chapter 8 A Secret Conversation

There is a soft knock on the door. Is it possible? Surely, Lucille has already gone to town.

'May I?' asks Thomas quietly.

'Yes, please husband. It's your bedroom too' I say as I sit down on our bed hoping he doesn't take my words for a grievance.

'I'm sorry to see you ill'

'It's nothing serious, you shouldn't worry' I assure him.

'Lucille is not at home, she went to town' he says sitting on the bed next it me. It's the most intimate thing we've done this week.

'I know. She took my letters. She works very hard… your sister'

'Yes, she's always supported me and has been a great help. There were only the two of us after our parents had died. She was my sister, my mother, my… everything. It's hard for her, I think you should try to understand'

'I think I do' I say 'It's hard to accept another woman in your home. I bear no grudges. I don't intent to fight with her either. In fact, I don't think I could manage the house half as well as she does. It's she who should be in charge'

I say what I think he would like to hear. Anyway, from what I've observed I would find no ally in him. Maybe in time, but he's not ready yet. For now, I have to let his sister have her own way. I'm too weak to fight.

'Also, I don't think we should tell her we've met today. I think it would be better if we don't' I hear Thomas whisper.

In my opinion this is utter madness. Are we not man and wife? Why are we not even allowed to talk in this accursed house? However, I just nod my head in agreement.

'Lucille is not quite well either. If… when you get better maybe you could take care of her? Show her some understanding?' he asks and reaches for my hand.

'Of course I will' I say 'I have one condition, though'

'Yes?'

'I want to see you every day. We should keep it from Lucille if it makes her uneasy. If she feels she's losing control over her little brother or over the house, she will be upset'

'Oh' he sighs and I can see he is not sure.

'We will just talk, nothing else' I assure him 'I will obey Lucille in every aspect but I need… a friend. Someone I can talk to. I appreciate that you have a lot a lot of work and are exhausted but I require only a quarter of an hour or so'

He agrees and I feel one step closer to a possible victory.


	9. Chapter 9 A Friend

My husband keeps his promise and I keep mine. Our days in Allerdale Hall are almost... bearable and in my daily prayers I thank the Lord for every little blessing I receive.

I gave up trying to persuade Lucille anything, be it household or financial matters. She doesn't believe there is a need to go to church on Sundays so I do what I can about the worship at the manor. I listen and obey no matter what. Also, I remove myself from the siblings' presence finding some excuses and even encourage Thomas to take his sister for a walk or keep her company when she's playing the piano.

Lucille is not well, I can see it too now. She's pale, she tires easily and there are days she can be extremely moody. I, on the other hand, feel better with every day. The stomach aches are almost gone.

Because Lucille is so fragile she takes long hot baths and naps during the day. These are times my husband and I spend some precious time together, talking and enjoying each other's company.

'Why are you named Thomas' I ask during one of our conversations.

'Frankly, I have no idea. It was probably my mother's idea'

I have never met his mother but I've seen her portrait in the parlour. Were she alive she would be a formidable mother-in-law indeed. I judge that by her stern and unforgiving features. My father-in-law is dead too but there are no portraits and nobody ever mentions him.

'Why are you called Enola? It is quite an unusual name' he asks after a pause.

'Oh, it's a made up name. I am not the only one carrying it though'

'A made up name?' he chuckles.

'All names were made up at some point so don't tease' I say jokingly 'My mother came up with it. Have you ever tried reading my name backwards?'

We are sitting on a rug in front of the fire in the master bedroom. Thomas smiles, takes my hand and with my own finger writes ENOLA in the dust on the floor. I can feel his warm breath on my neck. I shiver not with cold but with pleasure. The fire makes the red stone of my engagement ring glow eerily.

'Alone' he says surprised 'That's a strange thing to wish upon one's own child, isn't it?'

I shake my head.

' When my mother lost her family in England and went to Italy to seek her distant relatives she felt very lonely. Eventually, she found her family and warmth and happiness but she had never forgotten that short period in her life. Hence, the creation of a good charm name. Alone read backwards, the opposite of alone. So that her child would always have loving and caring people around'

'But it didn't work, that charm, did it? You are quite lonely here I guess' says Thomas and wipes my name off the floor.

'But it did, it did. I had such a loving family in Italy and now you and your sister are my world. I do love you both dearly and though it's not always perfect I believe we will get along eventually' I say and I don't even know whom I am trying to convince, him or myself.

'Thank you' he says and gives me a gentle peck on my forehead 'Thank you for loving my sister. She is a good person but people refuse to see it. She needs... she needs all the love she can get. I can't abandon her, I never could, she did so much for me'

'I would never ask you to abandon your sister. We will be her most loyal and devoted friends' I say quickly

He embraces me, clearly moved by my words. Has anyone ever tried to separate them? I have a feeling someone has. Maybe there lies the cause of Thomas' protectiveness and Lucille's possessiveness. There are many secrets in this house but at the moment I'm trying to enjoy being in my husband's strong ams.

Soon our times passess and Thomas leaves. I put my arms around me trying to savour the warmth and the smell he has left behind.


	10. Chapter 10 Lucille

Soon the nature of Lucille's ailment becomes evident. I have spent enough time in my pregnant cousins' houses to recognize the symptoms. The paleness, the lack of appetite, the weariness, the constant mood swings and the swelling of hands and face. I talk to Thomas and he confirms my suspicions. Together we come up with what we think is a perfect arrangement

.

I can understand everything now, my eyes are open at last. We can't hire a maid, we can't go to church because nobody must know. Poor Lucille, why hasn't she confided in me?

With a tray of tea and cucumber sandwiches I go to her room. I'm determined to have an honest conversation with my sister-in-law. Lucille claims she has no appetite but she takes a few sips of tea.

'Dear sister. I am so sorry. I haven't always been considerate enough. Can you forgive me?' I ask crouching close to her, taking her hand into mine.

'So you know' she says.

'I know and I want you to know that you can trust me. I'll do everything I can to help'

'What can you do?' she sneers.

'First of all, we won't hire any help. We don't want anyone to know. I'll do everything by myself. I'll take on some of Thomas' workload too so he can focus only on you and his inventions'

'Well yes, he has planned to order some new parts' she says and smiles gently.

'When the child is born we can pretend it's mine to prevent a scandal but...you will still have the deciding voice in his or her upbringing' I add hastily.

Maybe I am mistaken but I think I can see tears glistening in her eyes

'At first, at first...' she says slowly 'I wanted to get rid of it, drink some herbs or... you know. But then I thought what if it's a little boy like... anyway... I couldn't. Then, I was thinking of having him in secret and leaving on some church's doorstep. But no. I can raise him on my own, here in Allerdale with Thomas, I am not ashamed'

This is not a good moment to remind her that Thomas is actually _my_ husband. At least now I understand why he has been so indulgent towards her. Poor Lucille. I think it happened when we were all in Italy. So easy to lose your head when you are away from home in a foreign country. I wonder who managed to steal her heart.

'Of course, I agree there is no shame in it' I say 'But people may think differently and while I believe you are strong enough to raise a child on your own, I beseech you, think of the future. He or she can have a name and legal parentage but you will be the real mother'

She nods her head.

'I'll call Thomas. You'll probably want to discuss it between yourselves' I offer and clean the tea tray.

I find Thomas standing right behind the door. I think he has heard everything. He can't enter his sister's room right away. She would now that we had been conspiring together and she wouldn't like it. I show him three fingers. Thomas nods. He will wait three minutes before going in. I smile and go to the kitchen to wash the dishes.


	11. Chapter 11 Crimson Peak

I am a prisoner in this house but a prisoner of my own free will. I clean, cook and take care of Lucille. I am not a wife of the lord of the manor, I'm a servant and a nurse. I don't mind it too much though. It's a good feeling - to be needed. When I have a rare free moment I have a secret meeting with my husband or write letters to my Italian family.

My sister-in-law spends more and more time confined to her bedroom. It means more duties for me but also more freedom. I can move around the house not being under her watchful eyes. One day I feel bold enough to unpack my camera. I have always been interested in the latest inventions and that is what brought us together with Thomas in Italy. On the way to Cumberland we stayed in Birmingham for a few days and took some pictures together but we have no photographs taken in our home. So I intend to do it and Thomas promised to develop them. Obviously we haven't shown our Birmingham pictures to Lucille and we don't intend to show her the ones we will take in Allerdale. It may seems like a lot of deceit but I'm desperate to have some kind of memento.

One day, Thomas helps me to set up the camera and we take a picture of us sitting at the table with the tea set I find so beautiful. My husband is reluctant claiming there are more interesting things to put in the picture but I insist. He also takes a picture of Caro and me.

Another day, my husband surprises me with a phonograph.

'It was just laying around, I thought we could try to record something ' he says 'I have some spare wax cylinders too'

'What a wonderful idea. And when your sister recovers we can record her playing the piano'

'We could' agrees Thomas

We play with the device a bit, acting like silly children and when Thomas leaves I put it under the bed. I decide to hide the box containing wax cylinders in a forgotten linen cabinet in the corridor. Lucille will never find it there.

Thomas' mood brightens up when the ordered parts come and he can test them. He shares his entire time between improving his clay digger and tending his sister. I'm trying to do everything to keep Lucille happy. I even hired a carriage service from the town to come twice a months and take Thomas shopping. I'd be so happy to go with him but I have to play my part of a pregnant wife and stay at home. With the money we received from Italy he buys some treats or books for his sister. I'm a bit sad because while I keep getting legal documents there are no letters from my family. I give a couple of letters to Thomas every time he goes to town but all he has for me when he gets back are the documents concerning my financial matters, nothing more.

The house seems calmer, there is no howling in the fireplaces, no clay oozing from the walls. And although the days are getting colder, my health has improved. The snow falls and I can see the famous blood red clay seeping from under the whiteness. Now I understand why the place is called Crimson Peak.


	12. Chapter 12 The Baby

We have one servant now. His name is Finlay. He has been hired by the family before but Sharpes had to let him go when they were orphaned and sent to boarding schools. The poor man is almost ninety and quite senile. That is why we can let him live in Allerdale Hall's servants' quarters. Finlay has never had any children and when his wife died he was left completely alone. People in town surely praised Thomas for his kindness when he decided to rehire the old man. There is still a spring in Finlay's step and he is proving to be a great help when Lucille's in her weakened state.

With a heavy heart I had to put a stop to my daily 'trysts'. Thomas and I could no longer bear each other's closeness and our kisses were becoming more and more passionate. We can't make that step, not now. How would we ever explain having two children not even a year apart? And so my marital bed remains empty. Thomas sleeps in his workshop, or next to his sister's bedroom to be close at hand if she has a need of him.

The spring comes and we expect the labour to start any day now. Everyone is quite tense and irritable. If Lucille's dies in childbirth I'll feel like I've murdered her by not insisting on calling the doctor or midwife strongly enough. Thomas just listens to his sister and obeys her which makes his life much easier. I envy him sometimes. Men are such simple creatures.

I have a nightmare one night. I'm lying in bed and Thomas comes to our bedroom. I reach for him and feel that the sheets are wet and my body is being pulled down. It turns out the bed is filled with red clay. I am drowning. I try to call Thomas but he's just standing there looking at me. When I wake up I'm covered in cold sweat.

I pray a lot these days. I pray for the baby to be healthy, I pray for Lucille's easy labour and I pray for forgiveness for my sinful thoughts. It has crossed my mind once or twice that my life would be easier if my sister-in-law did die in childbirth.

When the day comes I try not to panic. Lucille is unbearable. She insists something is wrong with the baby and she doesn't want me to be near her. All she wants is Thomas. In my opinion, it's rather unseemly but I do not dare to argue with a woman in labour.

The child is smaller and weaker than any of my cousins' but I know infants grow fast and change every day. I implore Thomas to encourage Lucille to nurse the baby as often as possible. He assures me she does everything she can so that the little girl could thrive. I try to help too. I instruct her how to hold the baby for the best suckle, brew mother's tea and desperately trying to remember everything I've learned in Italy about infants' care. The little one is weak but I assure Lucille that we can succeed.

A few months have passed and even though the child is still alive it becomes apparent to me that something is not right. She cries often in a feeble and pitiful voice. She doesn't smile or grab our fingers. Lucille is heartbroken. I beg her not to lose hope. I try to feed the baby goat's milk and even some soft overcooked porridge but it only makes her sleep longer, she does not get bigger or stronger.

One day I persuade Thomas to take the little one to a doctor in another town. He doesn't reveal it's his sister's daughter and doctors are sworn to secrecy anyway. Unfortunately, he comes back with grave news. The child has a weak heart and probably won't live to see her first birthday. I take her from his arms and baptize her in the kitchen. Lucille has refused to name her so I decide she will be called Mary. When Lucille discovers that Thomas took Mary to a doctor on my behest she has a fit of rage. She feels betrayed. When she manages to calm down we tell her what the doctor has said. Lucille accepts the news with an impassive face. Later, she refuses to see anyone but her brother.

Thomas and I take a picture of Mary and me. I'm trying to smile but I fail. I will treasure this memento to the end of my days.

A few weeks later Mary dies in my arms. Peacefully. In her sleep. We put her in a small coffin and take the last picture. Thomas promises to arrange a funeral and I feel as though I had lost my own child. Her mother is inconsolable and refuses to come out of her bedroom.


	13. Chapter 13 The Mourining

**Author's Note: I can't belive I made it to the last chapter. Thanks everyone for reading and a special thanks to Miaka for encouraging reviews.**

When I get down the next day there is already breakfast on the table. Thomas looks devastated. He's just sitting there staring vacantly at the wall but Lucille is keeping herself busy. She greets me politely and offers some tea.

'Lucille, I am so sorry...' I start

'So am I' says she 'We did everything we could. I guess is was her fate. Now we just attire in black and accept the sad reality'

I drink the tea. I don't feel like it but it would be rude to decline. Thomas stands up and without uttering a word he storms out of the kitchen.

'He needs some time to accept the facts' says Lucille apologetically 'He will come to his senses… eventually'

The tea leaves a strange aftertaste in my mouth but I dare not protest when she pours another cup.

'Drink Enola, it will make everything better'

That night I wake up with a start. My stomach is burning. I feel like I was dying. I moan.

'Thomas! Thomas!' I call.

What was I thinking? Of course he is not there. Dear Lord, I need a doctor. I know I will die if someone doesn't help me. Tears roll from my eyes. Well, at least my poor little Mary would not be alone in the afterlife.

It takes all my willpower to stand up at put on the dressing gown. The pain is so great that I'm afraid I will go mad with it.

It takes forever to reach the corridor where Lucille's bedroom is light shining through the keyhole. I can see I have no idea where Thomas sleeps exactly but maybe they're still talking inside if the candles are lit. I don't want to alarm Lucille with my state if she's there alone. The poor woman has suffered enough lately. Therefore I do a rather despicable thing, I fall down on my knees and have a quick peek through the keyhole. They are both there together, sitting on the bed. I want to get up and knock but a sudden weakness takes over me and although I remain conscious my body will not listen to me. I have no other alternative but to stay there with my head leaning against the door.

'I can't… I can't stand it anymore' I hear Thomas complain.

'Hush, hush, my darling' says Lucille and strokes him gently on the cheek 'It will all be over soon'

Thomas seizes her hand and takes it away but then she grabs his hair, pulls his head back and suddenly starts kissing him. I stare at them through the keyhole, transfixed, not able to move. Lucille's dressing gown slides down revealing her smooth white shoulders. Thomas pulls it even lower and holding her by the waist, lays her flat on the bed. Now his mouth explore her neck, collarbones, the gap between her breasts. Soon she is naked and her legs are crossed behind his back. They stop for a moment just looking at each other.

'I would not let any of them have you' says Lucille breathing heavily 'Foolish whores, your wives. She was the best of them, she didn't want to throw me out on the streets or fuck you when I wasn't watching. She deserves better but we have no choice. She won't suffer as long as the other did, I put quite a lot of it in the tea this time. It will be quick I promise you'

'Lucille' whispers Thomas and she hugs him gently.

'We had no choice my sweet. We needed the money. They had no close family, nobody to leave their fortunes to. You gave them hope and beautiful dreams and possibly the best moments in their sad lives'

Lucille unbuttons his shirt, caresses his chest and belly. She reaches lower, into his trousers. At that moment I manage to tear myself away from the door.

Run, is my first thought, run as far as you can. But I can't really. I can barely walk. I feel blood in my throat but I dare not cough to clean it. I reach my corridor and suddenly I remember. I take a wax cylinder from the linen cabinet. I'm so weak I almost fall down. My legs can barely support my weight. Somehow I manage to reach my bedroom. With trembling fingers I put the blank wax cylinder in the gramophone but when I hear footsteps, I kick the machine under the bed. Then I lie down pretending to be too weak to move.

'Enola?' says Lucille.

'Lucille please' I whisper 'I'm very ill. Call Thomas, he must take me to the doctor'

'It's good I've come to check on you then' smiles Lucille sitting on my bed. There is only one candle burning in the room. I can't see her clearly but I can smell some sweat on her that I'm sure is not hers. I'm nauseated. She feels my forehead and I want to slap her hand. No, I want to bite it to draw blood.

'I must leave, now. I demand to see a doctor' I say through clenched teeth.

'What is happening?' asks Thomas entering the room.

'I'm ill. Take me to the doctor! Thomas!' I beg and groan in pain because the burning sensation in my stomach intensifies.

He looks at Lucille unsure but she just shakes her head with a polite smile.

'We don't have a carriage or any other means to transport you. Thomas will go and fetch the doctor in the morning. I'll give you some tea, it should make you feel better'

'I can go now' offers Thomas

'That's out of the question' protests Lucille 'You will get lost and freeze to death in some ditch. Better help me with the tea. Enola needs to rest'

This time I am not said that Thomas leaves me to be his sister's lapdog. Despicable couple. At least I have Caro with me, laying at my feet. That dog has more humanity in his little finger than they both combined.

When I can no longer hear the sound of their footsteps I jump out of bed and take the gramophone from under it. I almost faint with the effort. With the wax cylinder in place I start my recording. I cannot suppress my cough. I'm so angry, I feel so betrayed. I'm not even afraid of death any longer. All I want is to protect another innocent soul from my fate and make the hellish couple pay for their crimes. I have not got much time or strength. My voice is so weak. I'll say that they wouldn't let me leave and about the poison. I have to make sure it is known Thomas and Lucille are the murderers.

'All he ever wanted was my money to work on that infernal machine of his, that's all he cared about' I complain. I did not plan to say this but words have just poured out 'I'll hide this cylinder away in the linen closet and let it be known to anyone who finds this... ' another cough attack stops me from speaking, my hands are covered in blood 'Let it be known to anyone who finds this that they did it, they are killing me. I'm dying. The poison is in the tea. Find my body, take it home. I don't want to be left alone here… They're coming, I have to finish now'

I wipe my hands on the sheets and hide the gramophone and the cylinder under the bed again. With an enormous effort I climb onto the bed. Why didn't I say anything about the others or ask about proper burial for Mary? I feel so selfish now.

Lucille appears in the doorway. I can't see Thomas anywhere.

'Your tea' she says and puts the cup to my mouth. I know I am dead anyway so I drink. I don't want to raise any suspicions. If I refused, she would probably just strangle me and I need a few more minutes alone to hide the wax cylinder and maybe come up with some plan to save my life.

'Thank you Lucille' I say 'I'm so tired, I think I'll sleep now'

'Of course my dear. I'll here stay with you'

Does she know I know? I'm tired by this game but I will not give in till the end. Now, that I know their weakness maybe I have a slight chance.

'I'd prefer you went and checked on Thomas. I don't want him to put himself in danger' I say and pray that Lucille takes the bait. She does.

'If you're sure you will be fine...'

'Yes, I think I will be. I'm so weak, I just want to sleep'

She leaves the bedroom. In her grey dress, Lucille looks like a giant moth.

I grab the wax cylinder from under the bed and go to the linen cabinet to put it in the box with others. I have never checked what has been recorded on the rest of wax cylinders. Thomas asked me not to play them and I didn't. All my life I've been a good girl and now it has come to this.

The blood now runs freely from my nose too. The pain has lessened but surely it will come back with a vengance any minute now. I want to go to Finlay, the only decent soul in this cursed house but that would mean putting him in danger. There is only one place I can think of.

I go to the kitchen and call the lift. I'm sure they will be alarmed by the sound but I do not care. Breaking the rules I've been obeying all this time I go down, to the cellar. There she is, lying in a cold little coffin. I take her delicate body in my arms and sit on the cold floor, my back leaning against one of the big clay vats. And thus, murmuring a silent prayer for us both I'm waiting for my faith to be fulfilled.

'That is a very appropriate place I guess' says Lucille when she comes down. She's so calm that a part of me cannot help but admire her.

'Do you know that in ancient times when an important person died they killed his slaves and animals so he would have some use of them in the afterlife?' she asks approaching me slowly.

I do not deign to respond.

'What use would we have of you know when our daughter is dead? What right have you to live when she's dead? What right?'

She is standing right in front of me now. With a pair of scissors she cuts a strand of my black hair.

'See, I like to keep souvenirs too' she explains twisting it into a thin plait 'I know about your pictures of course. Thomas always tells me everything'

I remain silent. Lucille gives me a curious look.

'I can't decide whether to admire your bravery or laugh at your stupidity. You do realize you are going to die, don't you?'

She doesn't know I'm in so much pain I'm actually praying for death. I would like to tell she's going to pay for her crimes, that I took care of that but it must remain a secret. I don't want her to tear the house down looking for the cylinder.

Lucille gently removes the engagement ring from my finger. Do not fight her.

'May God have mercy on you both' I whisper, my mouth barely moving.

'Kind and thoughtful to the very end' sighs Lucille 'Others cursed me with their last breaths. Even my dear old mother. I will take no pleasure in killing you but it must be done' she says and puts her hand on my face, covering my nose and mouth. I try to bend my head backwards but Lucille puts her other hand on the back of my head holding it in place. I place Mary on in my lap and with my free hands I try to tear Lucille's fingers from my face but to no avail. I'm too weak. I'm starting choking and drowning in my own blood. I'm being pulled down, just like in my dream. For a moment I think I see Thomas but I am not sure. And then all is silence and darkness.

It's the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. Mary is laughing at last. I'm holding her in my arms. When I exhale there is a wisp of red smoke coming out of my mouth and all my pain and burdens leave my body and soul. I feel so light, so carefree. I look down as our poor bodies are being drowned in one of the red clay vats. My mortal flesh is not the only thing I left behind in Allerdale Hall. There is an echo of my affection for Mary, my wish to care for others, to be helpful, an echo that will hide in the walls of the manor and maybe one day save another innocent soul. And now we drift gently higher and higher to the light and warmth and overwhelming feeling of love.


End file.
